— Take our free 2 minute quiz to figure out what kind of chance you have of winning your ex back. The Push/Pull Technique To Get Your Ex Back
The push pull technique is where you purposely send mixed messages to your ex, where one moment you say something or do something that can cause them to read between the lines to make them feel that you are interested. And then the next moment you do something to make them think that you are not interested.
Now if you saw that definition and got a little confused don’t worry, that’s what we’re going to discuss today.
When it comes to the push pull method there are two main issues that I see many clients run into time and time again and people do not know what a good push or pull looks like.
When you should be using the push-pull method first
When people hear about this method, they want to use it, either on a crush or on an ex-boyfriend immediately after the breakup but the timing of when you use the push pull method is important to your overall success.
When should you use the push pull method?
Prerequisite #1 – This is super easy you must first have successfully completed a No Contact rule. The important thing here to know is for a normal person they can use this push pull method straight away as it is a type of flirting, but in your situation where you are trying to get an ex-boyfriend back and trying to work out how to get your ex to be more attracted to you is a little bit different than the average situation that is why it is so important that you complete the No Contact period before you try anything.
Prerequisite #2 – You need to have had some type of successful conversation with your ex after the No Contact rule has been completed. So, like I said situations can be different person to person. Someone who wants to use the push pull method on someone who they have just met is going to have more success than someone who is trying to get an ex back. This is why we want you to have a conversation with your ex before starting. Where your ex is having a conversation with you that is positive, they are engaged and not sending one-word answers.
What does a good push and pull look like?
The number one mistake we find is that when people do the push and pull method that they go to the extremes. So, the best way I can describe this is to imagine the push-pull method on a spectrum on the right side we have the people who push and the left side we have the people who pull.
So, for the people who push they say things like;
I hate you
I never want to see you again
And for the people who pull;
I love you
Come back to me
So, when you are looking at a push-pull method and you want to stay away from the extremes, what should a good push and pull look like?
It’s important to remember that you need to start of light, so what does a light push look like, well it’s where you do not immediately reply to your exes texts, a light push would be, giving them a playful look or a playful touch when you see them in person.
We could talk about all the light push and pulls that there are but instead looking at this from a bird's eye view on how to do the push and pull method. You are going to have to do something interesting to get this to work on your ex and it is different to how someone who is just trying to get a boyfriend or a girlfriend's attention. We are going to look at the fishing analogy that we mentioned earlier in the video, you’re going to slowly increase the intensity and the frequency of the pulls and slowly ratchet down the intensity and the frequency of the pushes.
Therefor you are going to be pulling your ex, then push him away a little bit and then pulling him in again until you are close again.
How do you know its okay to start doing this?
It all boils down to reciprocation, where you notice every time you pull him in he is reciprocating, it is a good time to push him out and then start the pull again. In some rare occasions, he initiates his version of a pull, and that’s a good idea to increase the frequency of your push and pulls if you notice this behaviour. Don’t pull him all the way in at once, just pull in more than what you are pushing as your situation grows, not at first.
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